what do we call this?

There seems to be a massive divide between the impression of the label "criminal" and the desired title "outlaw." Criminal is just sort of dirty, like you live under the Ben Franklin Bridge and rob old ladies for a visit with JD, alone, next to a trash can enflamed. I guess that's some homeless shit to, but still criminal is desparete, a cop's dehumanizing term for one who doesn't follow the law. The "outlaw" is just the opposite. Some boy stands on the corner, post depression, watching dust and year old newspapers crawl through the fresh sprawl of the city. Dillinger hits a bank a few blocks up. The "motherfuckers deserve it," the old bastard mutters, "lucky we got some outlaw to pinch the asshole of these halfbreed suits." The boy stares on. Outlaws though, seem to be a dying breed of deviant. Camera's now rise virtually over every bugger's head, and the folks who attempt to wear the badge of an outlaw either merely fuckin blow it cause they get trigger happy, or simply have no room to vanish into folklore. God damn it, vanishing really was the best way to end a story. But now we see every last detail all the way to the dying uncontrolable shit to the inhuman mug of a rigamortice reaction. We need a new age of outlaws. We need a bunch of wormy bastards to scramble a few god damn security systems, followed by a massive raid into a Borders. Fuck paying twenty five dollars for a hardback, in some neighborhoods I could get a blow job with that kind of cash. But it's people like that who brought us to this crackden. Where did the respect go? This moment of time is a strange transistion.

First one, I'll do my best to keep this shit going.

Rehab is really a bitch, especially if it's a court ordered rehab, that is the incredible shit stain. There is something about pissing in a cup, when the tears of urine dress your hands in yellow cause you can't position your dick right to hit the mark, that is dehumanizing. I'm not one to say that rehab is worthless. I'm not one to ignore the junkies who have developed rather intriguing crews from sitting around talking about the woes of shooting up. But then again, that is some legitimate rehab. I go to rehab for marijuana use. I go to rehab cause some fat bitch, whose rolls encompassed the lower part of her pant suit, refused to discuss the details of what going to trial would entail. I saw vo trial, rather I signed a contract the day after my arrest forcing myself to attend a three month rehab program.
I've always considered rehab a place of discussion, a group one at that. A place where little Jimmy Crack Rock, and Johnny China White could talk it up a little, share a few purcashing tales. How many dicks did you suck for a fix? Or how many dollars did you swipe from a hard working buddy? These kinds of tragedies gotta get out on the table. These kinds of stories need to be stomped on by veterans circle. A circle. I would have smoked crack for a circle. In this bizarre situation they dubbed upon me as rehab, I in fact was sitting in a 6*6 office chipping away at mounds of paper work. It was a form of slavery, I guess somewhat of a punishment for a police discovery of a nic of ganja on a seventeen year old. We seem to live in a country and or world, that completey forgot to have fun. I'm not saying the only way to get horny and jive is to smoke a fat L. But...naw that's exactly what I'm saying. Until I don't have to do trivial work in order to make bullshit payments, and watch fat slobs with guns walk around with a liscense to tell people what is wrong and right, ignoring that that is an individuals responsibility to figure his own shit out in the first place, I'm gonna roll up, post up, and fuckin take a shit in front of all the yuppies.



Yeah, I'm tryin to do this daily so I can get back in the habit of writing. trust me, some of this obviously underdeveloped. This is nothing but a tool for my retardation.